Name: Margaret M. Age: 97. Subscriber Number: 51.
LB: Dorset Theatre Festival, this is Laura.
MM (high-pitched, crackly old woman voice): Yes, hello, is this Dorset Theater Festival?
MM (great relief): What musical are you doing this year?
LB : This year, we’re doing “Marry Me a Little,” a Sondheim musical revue about two lonely people waiting to find love.
MM (great surprise): You aren’t doing “Altar Boyz”?
LB : No, we’re doing “Marry Me a Little.”
MM (escalating panic): But “Altar Boyz” is very popular.
LB : We decided on “Marry Me a Little” instead.
MM (accusingly): Did you at least CONSIDER “Altar Boyz”?
LB : We thought about it, but went with “Marry Me a Little” at the eleventh hour.
Long pause, laden with disappointment and barely concealed anger.
MM: That’s a shame. Goodbye.